Page 167 of Offside

; I wasn’t sure if that made sense, but it was what came to mind anyway.

Instead of running every morning at six, Dad had me get up and start doing a bunch of exercises with my arms. Apparently the new PT had given him a list of things for me to do for a couple of days before he arrived for the first time. The exercises weren’t bad at all and were a lot like the stuff Danielle was having me do. None of it was the same, however, because Nicole wasn’t there, sitting in the corner of the room and trying not to piss me off by smiling too much at my little achievements.

I had to find some way of getting ahold of her, but Dad had basically cut me off. He confiscated my cell phone, and we didn’t have a landline. My laptop was up in my room, three flights of stairs away. I asked him for it and told him I really needed to get Jeremy or someone to bring me assignments so I could get caught up and graduate next month, but he said he’d arrange to get them for me.

Then I made my mistake.

“Nicole would bring it all over for me.”

Dad lost it.

“What did I tell you?” he yelled. “What did I fucking tell you? That bitch isn’t coming anywhere near this house or you ever again!”

“I want to see her!” I yelled back. Even as the words left my mouth, I could feel my body chill and immobilize more than it already was. I was on the proverbial thin ice carrying a precariously stacked set of dumbbells.

Dad’s eyes went dark, and he slowly crossed the room toward me. I reached for the wheels of my chair and started pushing myself backwards, but there was nowhere to go. The feeling of being trapped was no longer just a sense of dread. There were no doctors or nurses or therapists here—it was just Dad and I.

His hands gripped the arms of the chair, stilling it completely. He leaned close to my face, his eyes blazing, but his voice was calm and quiet again.

“You want to reconsider?” he sneered. “Because you say the word, and I’ll be sure you see her. You’ll see her along with everyone else in this town—with some asshole’s cock shoved up her drunk little cunt. Is that what you want? Say the word, Thomas. I’ll be happy to oblige.”

I stared back at him, unsure I could have moved even if all my limbs were working.

“You think I don’t know who that kid was on the field?”

I hadn’t really thought about it. That seemed to be a theme at the moment—shit I didn’t think through before I acted on it.

“You smacked him around a little,” Dad went on, “but that little whore deserved whatever she got. I’d be happy to show her father and the town all the dirty little details.”

“Her father knows,” I said softly, knowing that it wouldn’t make any difference.

“Yeah, I’m sure he does,” Dad said with a nod. “I wonder how many of his co-workers do? Or the kids in your school—I bet they could use a good image to jack off to, couldn’t they?”

I had no doubt that he would do it and that he probably wouldn’t stop there, either.

“Leave her alone,” I begged. “It’s not like she can hurt my game anymore…”

“No, I think she’s fucked that up about as much as she possibly could,” Dad agreed. He stood up straight and placed a finger against his chin. “You know…maybe that’s a more fitting fate for her.”

He took a few steps backwards.

“I mean, she took your legs away…Maybe a little retribution in kind would make more sense.”

My panting increased. He wouldn’t hurt her…would he?

“Maybe she needs to be in the middle of another accident.”

“Dad…don’t,” I whispered. I could hardly get any words out. “Just forget I said anything, okay? I won’t mention her again…I swear I won’t! Just leave her alone.”

“Maybe you can see a little reason,” he said with an expression that was about as far from reason as I’d ever seen—even from him.

He walked out of the room while I tried to catch my breath again.

I was going to have to forget her. It was the only way to keep her safe, at least until I could get out of here.

Could I get out? I mean—I was eighteen. I didn’t think he could make me stay…not legally. Of course, the legality of the matter probably didn’t mean much to him. If I had said something in the hospital or rehab center, maybe I could have stayed there, but now…now it was too late.