Page 129 of For Better for Worse
Turning her back on him, she continued her way upstairs, ignoring the angry accusations which followed her.
She had made her decision and she was not going to change her mind no matter how much pressure Nick put on her to do so.
âBut why should he want to stay married to me when he doesnât love me?â she had asked Cressy in bewilderment.
âBecause Nick is one of those people who canât bear to let anything or anyone go,â Cressy had told her grimly. âAnd because he enjoys his power over you, Fern.â
The picture Cressy had drawn of Nick had shocked her at first, but now she was beginning to recognise the truth of her friendâs statements.
Carefully she unpacked her clothes, telling herself she was not going to be a coward and stay up here, too afraid to continue to confront Nick, but her hands were still shaking slightly when she had put the last item away and closed the case.
Nick was waiting for her in the kitchen, his mouth twisting into a bitter sneer as he told her, âDonât think I donât know what youâre up to, Fern, but itâs no good going running to Adam. He doesnât want you any more now than he ever did. You never did have much sense of timing, did you?â he added goadingly. âDidnât you know heâd gone awayâwith the Jameses and their daughterâ¦? Theyâve gone to Tuscany; the Jameses have a villa there⦠Trust dear old Adam to fall on his feet. Old man James is rolling in it. Still, Adam is going to need a rich father-in-law if his plans for Broughton House fall throughâand they will, Anthony Quentin will see to that. He isnât too keen on the idea of a new supermarket opening locally⦠Whatâs wrong, Fern? Not having second thoughts, are you, now you know that dear Adam isnât around to let you crawl into his bed?â
âThis has nothing to do with Adam,â Fern protested fiercely.
âDonât lie to me,â Nick contradicted her heatedly. âThis has everything to do with him. Youâve always wanted him⦠preferred him⦠but heâs never wanted you, Fern, and he never will. We used to laugh about you together, about the way you used to follow him around, hanging on his every word. He warned me against marrying youâ¦â
She must not say anything⦠must not betray what she was feeling, how much he was hurting her, Fern told herself. Thank God Cressy had opened her eyes to what he really was.
âIâm going out now,â Nick told her. âBut while Iâm gone I want you to think about one or two things, Fern. Like how youâre going to live without me to support you? You havenât got your parents to go running home to now, have you? No money⦠no home⦠no Adam. What are you going to do? One thingâs damn sure, you couldnât earn a decent living on your backâ¦â
He added something so crude and insulting that Fern winced. She thought herself shock-proof, armoured against everything he could say to her, but she was not, she acknowledged nauseously half an hour later as she slowly started to restore order to the chaotic kitchen.
; Her face still burned from the final insults Nick had hurled at her. She had known that Nick would make things difficult for her but she had not realised until today just how much he must have always disliked and despised her.
Her hands started to shake. She felt weak⦠dizzy⦠sick⦠as the after-shock of their quarrel washed over her.
Her body ached as though it had been beaten, tension locking every muscle; all she wanted to do was to crawl away somewhere safe and protected. She found herself longing for Cressy, wishing that she had taken her friendâs advice and stayed on with her for a few more days.
Cressy had counselled her not to confront Nick directly but to telephone or write to him.
âHeâll bully you into staying with him if he can, just for the pleasure it will give him to punish you for wanting to leave him,â Cressy had warned her.
Fern had laughed then, telling Cressy that Nick was hardly as malevolent and destructive as she was painting him, but now, recalling the things he had said to her, Fern wondered if she had been wrong and Cressy right after all.
He had completely ignored her reference to his relationship with Venice. Had Adam discussed her with him⦠as he had said?
He must have done, even if Nick had exaggerated his comments.
Tears burned her eyes. She walked over to the sink, each step a physical effort.
She was not doing this for Nickâs benefit, she told herself half an hour later as she washed the final item, but for her own, and when she had finished cleaning the kitchen she intended to walk into town and visit the local estate agents. Somewhere someone must have a room she could rent; her modest resources would allow her to do that. She could also call in at the employment agencies as well, although what kind of work she could findâ¦
* * *
The phone rang just as she was about to leave. She picked up the receiver and said her number.
âFern?â She recognised Veniceâs voice immediately, and was grimly amused to hear the surprise in it. Plainly Venice was not aware that she had returned.
âI need to speak to Nick,â Venice told her quickly. âItâs⦠itâs very important⦠a business matterâ¦â
âNick isnât here, Iâm afraid,â Fern told her quietly, adding wryly, âand Iâm sure you have a much better idea of how to get in touch with him than I do, Venice. Oh, itâs all right,â she added when Venice was silent. âI know about your affairâthat tie you brought back gave it all away, but then you must have known it would.â
For a moment Fern thought Venice would simply hang up without saying anything, but then she heard her take a quick breath and say fiercely, âHe doesnât love you, Fern. Itâs me he wants, not you! He didnât even come to look for you when you left, did he? Shall I tell you what he was doing while you were away?â Her voice had softened to a silky, sensual purr now, a softness that barely concealed the razor-sharp claws of her malice.
âHe was with me⦠he was in my bed, Fern, making love to me⦠wanting me⦠He never even gave you a thought. To tell the truth, I donât think heâd have given a damn if youâd never come back. Why did you come back, Fern? To try to patch up your marriage? You donât have a marriage any more⦠havenât you realised that yet? I want Nick and I intend to have him. If youâve got any sense youâll go back to that friend of yours, but this time youâll stay thereâ¦