Page 41 of His First Wife

TIME: 1:26 AM

Coreen:

I don’t know how to say this and I don’t know if there’s a right way to do it, so I’m just going to come out and tell you that I can’t see you anymore. Remember, I told you my wife was sick? Well, we just found out that she’s about two months pregnant. We didn’t plan it, but it’s what’s happening.

I have to ask that you not try to contact me anymore. I have to be there for my family and make some right decisions for my wife and child. I’m not trying to be mean, Coreen, and I know e-mail is not the best way to do this, but I don’t have the nerve to do it any other way. It’s not that I don’t respect you, but I’m married and I can’t make this just go away. I hope you understand.

Jamison

E-MAIL TRANSMISSION

TO: [email protected]

FROM: [email protected]

DATE: 5/10/07

TIME: 3:15 AM

I can’t stop crying. I can’t even believe what I just read. How could this happen? I guess I should’ve expected it. But I didn’t expect you to lie to me. You said you haven’t been having sex with Kerry, so how did she get pregnant? Sounds like someone’s caught in a lie.

But that’s OK. I guess I got what I asked for dealing with a married man. I just thought you were different. That maybe we had something.

E-MAIL TRANSMISSION

TO: [email protected]

FROM: [email protected]

DATE: 5/10/07

TIME: 5:33 AM

I’m sorry you feel that way. I never meant to hurt you. It wasn’t like that at all. This just happened and I have to be a man and deal with it. I have to do what we both know is right, no matter how I feel. So, again, I have to ask that you not contact me anymore. I’m sorry. You have to know this hurts me too. But this is my family. I love my wife. I always have. And I just can’t continue to do this to her.

Tyrian Purple

After everything I’d been through, I was still relieved when one of the nurses came in and said Jamison was on his way into delivery. The weirdest thing about being angry with someone you love is that when you really need them, you tend to feel less of the anger riding your heart. And lying in the hospital bed alone with my legs cocked up and nurses and my doctor walking in and out of the room on a rotating basis, I needed and wanted no one else there but my husband. Cheat or no cheat, this was our baby coming out of me and I didn’t want to go it alone. That wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Not how I imagined it. I didn’t want to someday tell my child that his father was not there the day he was born. I wanted to feel the love I felt when my child was conceived, see the man I loved, and share, even if it was for the last time, a part of the family we’d created. So, when Jamison came into the room, while I was silent and wondering what I’d say, I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t soften.

“Baby, I’m here,” he said, rushing over to my bedside.

I didn’t say anything. After an hour or so of trying to breathe between the thumps in my gut, all I could do was cry. Seeing my husband, the moment finally hit me. So much had happened, but here I was now, Kerry, giving birth to my first child. And now my husband was by my side. It was happening. We were giving birth.

“I came as soon as I got the ca—Are you all right? You need anything? You need me to . . .” He was nervous. Jamison tended to ask a lot of questions when he was nervous. “Get you something? Something to eat?”

“Sir, she can’t eat right now,” the only nurse left in the room said, laughing.

We both looked at her blankly.

“I guess I’ll let you two be alone for a second,” she said.

“Baby, I—” Jamison started.

“Don’t say anything,” I said with my voice cracking. “I’m just glad you’re here. I just want you here right now.”

“And I want to be here too. I can’t believe he’s coming. Can you, baby? Our son?”

“No,” I said.