Page 37 of Riesling with My Roommate

Emma

Definitely.

Jade

Oh boy.

Sara

Emma, you are both adults. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

Emma

There is definitely something to be embarrassed about. My professor, who I have to stare at for several hours a week for the next ten weeks, knows what I taste like.

What I TASTE LIKE.

This is very disturbing.

Eventually, Jade and I coax Emma out of the room she’s hiding in so she can go home. I don’t blame her for freaking out.

I work for nearly another hour before my phone starts dinging again.

Emma

I pepper-sprayed him.

FML

Jade

What? How? I don’t . . .

EMMA. WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

Emma

I thought he was following me. I didn’t mean to pepper-spray him. It just happened.

Jade

Your pepper spray magically fell out of your purse and aimed itself at him and fired itself?

Emma

I got scared!

Sara

I think we need to video chat.

It takes much longer to talk Emma down this time. She’s having a shit day, which puts my day into perspective.

I’m being unproductive, and it’s frustrating me.

She pepper-sprayed someone who’s going to help determine whether she gets her degree or not.

When we convince her to calm down and go home, we hang up, and I get back to work.